Donor Conception Network - Articles
Network 10th Anniversary Meeting - Comments & Reflections
Thank goodness the weather is good!
Scramble for keys - the school
caretaker had gone off with the keys to the fridge containing all the
drinks: Susannah's wonderful colourful poster welcoming everyone at the
gate.
Suddenly it's speech time - Sheila standing/wobbling on a chair talking
about our very first meeting in Sheffield - she even had the letter we
had sent her (floods of memories - they were great times). Liesel on the
same wobbly chair talking about how she came to make the film. People
clapping ME!
Cutting the amazing cake (every crumb was eaten by the end
of the afternoon).
People rushing to see the film and then rushing out to
buy the video.
Loads of children, faces painted, running around clutching
burgers, cake and strawberries...endless bouncing on the bouncy castle.
Groups of parents chatting, lazing in the sun.
Exhaustion, pleasure.it
had been a good day.
Olivia
Will the Devon train arrive on time? Will the tube connections work? Damn
I've forgotten to bring the address with me - surely I can remember where
St Alfred's is? In desperation get a taxi, driver has never heard of the
school - have to delve into very ancient memories of London. Brain works,
arrive panting on the nail of 11.00 as Olivia had asked all Steering
Group members to do - feel pleased to have delivered myself as requested.
Olivia and Walter have the whole thing organised like clockwork (as
always). Once again I am awed by their commitment, energy, and
efficiency, I know they must already be worn out by the strain of it all,
but as usual they are unflapped, a little brisk sometimes but most of all
welcoming and ready to help everyone.
Olivia has come up with this wonderful idea that we ask people if they
would like to have a sticker on their backs saying something about
themselves. Olivia's says ( if my memory serves me well) "parent of two
DC children - ask me anything." Having it on backs is truly inspired,
allowing others to eye ball the message discretely and then decide if
they want to engage. I carried a similar text to Olivia - the 'ask me
anything' bit only attracted a question from a waggish dad about who won
the cup final in 1963.I hope that others had more fruitful enquiries.
As well as the DC Network anniversary the school was also the venue for
kids football training, so lots of non-DC families were walking past our
welcome point. Some of us where tempted to ask of football dads if they
knew what their sperm count was - but thought better of it.
Lovely to see so many members, all in great spirits even after long, hot
journeys with small children. DC meetings always make me feel happy. they
have some a warm and generous spirit - perhaps from our all having
decided to be open with ourselves, our families and others about some
pretty profound stuff.
The speeches and the anniversary cake - it had come to me that someone
had to say some words of appreciation for Olivia and Walter. Mentioned
this to other Steering Group members who all thought it was a great idea
- especially if it was not they who did it.
So it was up to me - after
elegant speeches from Sheila Cooke, Liesel Evans the film producer and
Olivia. I felt rather less eloquent in my thank you for O & W and from
dim childhood memories led three cheers.felt drained by this public foray.
The film - beautifully made and very moving.
I was shattered that most of
the children interviewed seemed at one point or another to refer to the
donor as their 'real dad'. This blew a huge hole in my
perception that if we were open with our children about their being a
donor '.this kind man.' that they never thought about the donor as some
kind of father.
Shaken and running out of time before the train home I
muttered my anxieties about the effect of the film to a few members - to
my relief at least a couple where as taken aback as I.
Hasty farewells - feeling guilty for staying to help with clearing up and
them back into the streets of Golders Greeen and the nightmare of a
broken down tube system.
But I still managed to catch the train.
Nick
