Donor Conception Network

LIBRARY - BOOKLISTS - PARENTING ISSUES
Blame my Brain: the Amazing Teenage Brain Revealed (2005) By Nicola Morgan Published by Walker books ISBN: 0-7445-8368-3
Intended for teenagers and parents, to explain in a light-hearted way why teenagers are the way they are, including risk taking, mood swings and inability to get up in the morning. There is scientific information presented in an entertaining way, and information about the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse.
How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk (2001) By Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish Published by Piccadilly Press

This wonderful book is the ultimate resource for good communication in the family. Lots of real life examples and cartoon scenarios.
Raising Boys Without Men ( 2005) By Peggy Drexler Published in the USA by Holtzbrinck Publishers ISBN: 1-57954-881-4
The author carried out a research project that compared boys from female headed households, including both single mothers and lesbian couples, with boys from traditional families. The results were encouraging, and showed that boys raised without fathers were generous, caring and socially confident, whilst remaining boyish and keen on sports.
Blame my Brain: the Amazing Teenage Brain Revealed (2005)
By Nicola Morgan Published by Walker books ISBN: 0-7445-8368-3
Intended for teenagers and parents, to explain in a light-hearted way why teenagers are the way they are, including risk taking, mood swings and inability to get up in the morning. There is scientific information presented in an entertaining way, and information about the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse.
How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk (2001)
By Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish Published by Piccadilly Press
This wonderful book is the ultimate resource for good communication in the family. Lots of real life examples and cartoon scenarios.
EXPERIENCES OF DONOR CONCEPTION PARENTS, OFFSPRING AND DONORS THROUGH THE YEARS (2003) By Caroline Lorbach. Foreward by Eric Blyth ISBN: 184310122X.
Published by Jessica Kingsley Publishers This Australian book is a valuable resource for those considering treatment, as well as for parents of donor conceived children. Drawing on the experiences of parents, offspring and donors and including her own and her family’s story, this thought provoking and informative book explores the process of donor conception. From finding out there is an infertility problem, Caroline Lorbach takes the reader step by step through the process of deciding to use donor conception, choosing a donor and discussing the decision with others, and whether and how to tell the children about their conception. The book includes information from families using egg and embryo donation as well as sperm donation, and from single and lesbian parents. The author also considers the perspective of the donor alongside those of parents, and includes a chapter on the thoughts and experiences of adult donor offspring. Recommended.
Helping the Stork: The choices and challenges of Donor Insemination
Vercollone, Moss and Moss Macmillan USA 1997 ISBN 0-02-861917-X
Review by Marion Scott
"I live on a creative edge which celebrates a commitment born of love rather than biological imperative" A non-biological parent.
This book sets out to help families learn to thrive while meeting DI's added challenges. They say it is the first to pull together resources and support in a range of areas relevant to 'consumers' and professionals. Its point is to break the isolation felt by many people involved with DI for family information and give DI the "in depth objective and responsible attention it deserves".
Carole Vercollone is a counselor (and DI Network associate member) and Mosses have 'been there', having children born by donor insemination. And through the book they are giving voice to parents and others who have been through the experience of DI (or rejecting DI as a option or failing to get pregnant). The ideas and solutions come from first hand experiences.

Four points to start with: the book is US based but still very relevant to the UK context. There's lots of humor. The book draws on the lives of diverse families including lesbian couples and SCMs - Single Mothers by Choice. And throughout the book they address the issues of secrecy, but in a sensitive way that recognises the range of decisions and feeling's held with DI families.

It is structured around a logical sequence which starts with gaining the knowledge that conception won't occur without some help and ends with having children (and seeing the humour in hindsight).

THE LONG-AWAITED STORK: A GUIDE TO PARENTING AFTER INFERTILITY (1993) By Ellen Sarasohn Glazer. Published by Lexington Books ISBN: 002911814X
A useful resource for those who are pregnant, or parenting young children after the experience of infertility. The psychological effects of infertility can persist after the birth or adoption of a child, leading to feelings of isolation in those who have waited so long for the fulfilment of their dreams. This book addresses and affirms the diverse feelings that may be experienced, and deals with the emotional impact of trying to be the "perfect parent". There is a chapter on donor insemination, which addresses the secrecy issues and talking to children.
PARENTING: WHAT REALLY COUNTS? (2000)
By Susan Golombok. Published by Routledge. ISBN:0-415-22716-X This book examines the scientific evidence for what really matters for children's healthy psychological development, and presents complex ideas clearly. It discusses whether it is necessary to have two parents, a father present, parents who have a genetic link with their child or parents who are heterosexual. There is a discussion on donor insemination and egg donation families, which shows that they show a high degree of commitment to their children. It also discusses secrecy surrounding DI and the gaps in current research evidence available. The central argument of the book is that day-to-day experiences of family life are more influential than genetic links or the sexuality of family members. Recommended
THE SECRET OF HAPPY CHILDREN (1988)
By Steve Biddulph . Published by Thorsons. ISBN:0722536690 The author shows how the positive way in which you relate to a child has a strong effect on growing self-esteem, responsibility, emotions and present and future happiness. You will find out how negative language will effect children and why they rebel. The book is easy to read, and contains scenarios, familiar dialogues and case histories with cartoons.
RAISING BOYS (1997)
By Steve Biddulph. Published by Thorsons. ISBN: 0-7225-3686-0 The author explores the reasons why boys learn and behave differently from girls, and shows how to help them grow into happy and well-balanced men. The importance of father son relationships is focused on, with advice for single mothers of sons.