Donor Conception Network - Stories
A Quest for Donor Records
Pamela, now living in Florida recounts her pursuit for the records of her UK donor.
I was artificially inseminated over 4 treatments at the Hallam Medical
Centre, then of 77 Hallam Street and 112 Harley Street, London.
The Medical Director was Dr. Bridget Mason, the consultant gynecologist
was Jinan Bekir, and the Department Medical Director was Dr. Susan Smith.
At that time the choosing of the donor was performed by someone at the
clinic to match the physical characteristics of my then husband who was
approximately 6’1”, blonde, with blue-green eyes and, we
thought, A- blood.
We were told at the time of the initial intake that
when my son grew up and if he should want to learn more about the donor
he would be given non-identifying information.
I delivered a son, born in late March 1990.
Approximately 14 years later
he has grown tall, blonde and has blue-green eyes. Divorced now from my
husband for 12 years, my son and I live in America. Although I have
brought him up without having told him about his conception origins I
always thought that when he was older I would tell him. I now wanted to
have the information that I had been told would be available should I
need it.
When I was in England this past summer I discovered that the Hallam
Medical Centre had been absorbed into the London Women’s Clinic I
called the London Women’s clinic and made an appointment to see the
Counselor. I went into London and had a lengthy discussion with her only
to be told that they had no record of my ever being a patient there. The
Counselor talked with the medical director for five minutes and then said
they could offer me no further help, other than telling me support groups
like the DC Network existed.
I was devastated because I had been told
that non-identifying information would be available on the donor.
I returned to America determined not to give up.
Going online I
discovered the Donor Sibling Registry (an American based website for the
registry of children born of donor insemination, egg insemination, etc.).
I registered my son under the U.K. clinic sites and started doing
Internet research on the subject. One day, I happened upon the Bridge
Centre site in London and was looking through their list of staff members
when I came across the name of someone who had worked at the Hallam
Medical Clinic 14 years previously.
I got up early one morning (we have a
6 hour time difference) to call the doctor. After being asked to call
back later in the day and then being put on hold for almost 20 minutes
while they tried to locate her I was actually put through to speak
directly with her (something I now understand almost never happens).
She
very kindly gave me the impetus to continue my search. She said that the
records at Hallam Medical Centre must absolutely exist and that they may
be stored off-site. Armed with that knowledge and the fact that I knew my
son’s conception was due solely to the treatments performed at the
Hallam Medical Centre, I began to think the problem must have been a
misfiling of my name or my ex-husband’s name.
(Because we have a two name last name and my ex a unisex first name,
misfiling have often occurred) I thanked the doctor for her information
and encouragement now determined to get someone at The London
Women’s Clinic to put more time and effort into finding records
that must surely exist.
I called back the London Women’s Clinic and spoke to the Head
Nurse, telling her what the Bridge Centre doctor had said to me and
begging her to please search again. I had also located a calendar from
that summer of 1989 and had the name of the actual doctor who had
performed the inseminations at Hallam. I had gone to our local university
medical library, looked up the name of the doctor in a British Physicians
Directory that stated she had retired but also gave a forwarding address
for her. I wrote her a letter stating that I was trying to find out
information for my son. I never heard back from her.
I did, however, hear
from the Head Nurse that my name sounded familiar. She remembered that
within the last few weeks someone else had searched for the information
that I was requesting (I deduced that the doctor must have performed a
search of her own since she was the only other person I had asked.) I was
told that although nothing had turned up previously, she would be willing
to make a personal search for me. She told me that if the information
existed it would be on microfiches stored in the basement and she would
check later that day. She asked me to call back the next day.
To make a long story short, the very kind , caring and diligent Head
Nurse did indeed find my information on their microfiche records. She
sent me copies of some of it in early December. As I had thought, it had
indeed been misfiled. They sent me copies of letters that I sent to
Hallam and that they had sent me together with some treatment notes.
Most
crucially they sent some non-identifying information on one of the
donors, “Tufty”, a 19 year old osteopath student, and
information that another of the donors had been discontinued as of June
1990. Although this may not seem like a lot to some people, to me it has
helped to know that should we need information, it does exist, is in
storage and can be located should the laws ever change.
